Searching for that ‘aha’ moment when you want to change career but don’t know what you want to do can feel like having your head in one of those 'Chinese Finger Traps' - the more you try and work your way out of it, the more constrictive and painful it feels.
I remember it so clearly from my own career change. I’d spend hours going round and round in ever-contracting circles in my mind trying to work out what other job I could do. I’d tell my friends and family that I was going to spend the weekend “sorting my life out”, which basically involved me locking myself in my bedroom reading self-help books and trying to analyse my skills and personality and making endless notes and lists.
All of which got me nowhere.
I found one of those old notebooks the other day when I was packing up to come to Asia and was amazed at the amount of work I’d put into trying to get to the bottom of my “career problem”. And I was also pretty surprised by how far away any of the ‘answers’ I’d come up with during that time were from this happy, fulfilling career/life I’ve now found for myself.
The fact is, this kind of thinking doesn’t work. At Careershifters, the wonderful career-change company I work with, they have a mantra that goes: “You can’t figure it out by figuring it out”.
As I said in a previous post, our rational human minds are capable of incredible things, but they’re also highly limited. This logical, “working it out” part of the brain can really drown out the more intuitive, creative parts - rather like one of those loud-mouthed ‘know-it-alls’ that dominates the conversation without having very much useful or interesting to contribute.
The intuitive part of the brain - which has a lot more information at its fingertips and is where true inspiration lies - is more timid and tricky to access - especially when that bossy oaf is telling us what to do. (Apologies, by the way, to any neuroscientists out there for this very non-scientific interpretation of the research!)
You’ll recognise the loud voice of the rational brain. It’s the one that tells us: “You can’t change career, you’ve got bills to pay!” or “You should accept that promotion even though you hate this place because that’s the sensible thing to do” or "Just wait until the time is right" (note: that time never comes!) It wants to find the answer NOW and to know exactly where you’re heading, before it’s willing to take any action.
The trouble is, the rational brain doesn’t have enough information and is often driven by fear, so you end up trapped by the same old limiting beliefs and negative thought patterns.
In order to invite in inspiration and give your creative, intuitive mind a chance of being heard, just as with those Chinese finger traps, the answer (unexpectedly) is to try LESS hard not more. Once we relax our minds, and allow the rational brain to quieten down a bit, we give the rest of the mind a chance to work its magic.
That’s why creative ideas often happen when we stop what we’re doing and go for a walk around the park.
Or why those lightbulb moments hit us at unexpected moments like when we’re in the shower or daydreaming in a boring meeting (psychologist Jonathan Schooler has conducted research showing the power of mind-wandering for creativity.)
I often have sudden ‘aha’ moments in the middle of a meditation (completely hijacking the session as I spend the rest of the time scheming and planning this brilliant new idea!)
So if you’re stuck in trying to ‘work it out’ mode, and you feel like your head is getting more and more crushed and squeezed and you’re more confused than you were to start with, my advice to you is STOP. Just stop.
And breathe.
Go for a walk in nature, or do something fun just for the sheer hell of it. Strike up a conversation with a stranger, paint a picture or do anything it takes to get you out of over-thinking things.
The benefit to this is that you’ll also get new input and allow for chance encounters and experience - essential to inspiration - and probably not possible if, like I was, you’re spending hours locked in at home trying to figure it all out.
I know all this is easier said than done. And I know how hard it can be to break out of ‘work it out’ mode. But carving out the time to stop trying to DO your career change, and to just BE - (even if it’s just for limited time and you promise yourself you’ll get back onto the planning/rationalising later on!) is probably actually one of the most sensible, logical things you can do.
Oh, and if you're looking for a suitable location for all this creative 'BEING' time, I can highly recommend a beach in Thailand (sorry, this #DigitalNomad smugness will stop very soon, I promise!)